Have you ever had a picture or memory pop up that immediately took you right back to its origin? Today, that happened to me. A picture popped up from a year ago, and it immediately sent me right back to where we were and the emotional and difficult season we were navigating. Our family was in crisis and we had driven hundreds of miles to get the help we needed. But after a long day of travel and emotional experiences, my husband and I got in our vehicle and began the journey back home. We stopped for dinner and afterwards noticed a waterfront area. We decided to drive over in hopes there would be a walking trail or something where we could just decompress. We drove over but there was no walking trail, just a parking area so we pulled up as close as we could to the barrier, we stared out over the water and sat in silence for what seemed like hours. I felt the Lord whisper to my heart, “You already know how to get through this season, but Erin, it is not going to be easy.”
I wish I could tell you my heart, in that moment, was full of gratitude that God knew I needed to hear His voice, or that He had assured me that He had equipped me to get through this difficulty, or that He had momentarily provided a place of peace for my husband and I to rest. But instead, my heart sank at the thought and settled on the words “it is not going to be easy.” We had already been through so much pain and heartbreak, how could I keep going? How could we make it through to the other side of this crisis if it was going to be more difficult? How, just how? I could not comprehend any greater level of difficulty than we had already experienced, but I KNEW enough to know that IF God said it, it would be so.
Over the next several months, those words “it is not going to be easy” rang more true than anything the Lord has ever pressed upon my heart. There were more tears, more heartbreak, more fear, more sleepless nights, and more feelings of hopelessness. Wrapped around those things were also breakthroughs, victories, confessions, alignment, and agreement. There were promises delivered and slow steps of healing and restoration with each passing day. We WERE getting there, slowly but surely.
When life turns upside down in the worst of ways, our first response is to react and I did that. I went into problem solving mode and nearly exhausted myself in the process. I realized that my attempts at solving things were nothing compared to His power to restore and redeem it all, so I slowly began to release it into His hands. As the days passed and the broken pieces of our hearts began to come together, we realized even in the lowest of lows, He was there. He was lifting, supporting, leading, guiding, encouraging, and healing. He was drawing our family in and He was refining us individually, but also as a family unit. He was restoring every broken area. He IS faithful and He knows what we can handle and what is needed to get us to the place He needs us to be.
Loss, pain, heartache, and disappointment are not final. He takes it all and reshapes it into a beautiful journey of growth and refinement. Am I thankful for the crisis, no, but am I thankful for who we all are on the other side of that experience, YES! He uses it all…the good, the bad, and the painful…to draw out of us what so desperately needs to be cultivated for our calling. Life is full of unexpected experiences that will push us into places we desperately want to avoid. It seems unfair and cruel, but it’s in those places of desperation and isolation that He sits, waiting with open arms to comfort, to restore, and to show us just who He is.
He is Lord, Lord of ALL…nothing surprises Him and nothing He allows us to walk through is wasted. Wherever you are today, whatever you are navigating…He is with you. He is shielding you, He is covering you, He is strengthening you, and He will redeem it all for your good and His glory!
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23 (NIV)
Erin L.A. Jones 