2 Corinthians 9, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
…continuation from last week, Thorn – The Pain…
But then…God used my husband to speak truth, in love, to me. My husband reminded me that I wasn’t dead and God still had a plan for me so I needed to find the strength and determination to get up and move forward. God brought two sermons across my path; one was based on the above scripture and another was based on the trials we face in life and why Christians endure sickness and pain. All of these things had a common denominator…the word of God. His word is truly water to a thirsty soul and I was spiritually dehydrated because of the sickness and depression.
I became like a sponge, soaking up the Lord’s presence in every single small victory. I immersed myself in the word and praised Him in everything. When I went a day with no need for pain medication, I praised; when I slept through the night, I praised; when I was able to eat a little more solid food, I praised. At five months, I had very little physical improvement but I was making enormous spiritual improvements. God was changing me and I began to see the blessing in my thorn of sickness. I remember a friend who was diagnosed with a brain tumor, had surgery to remove the tumor and was left with severe facial nerve pain, standing in my office and said she was encouraged by how I was walking through my sickness. What??? I felt extremely grateful that she saw something encouraging but I also remember feeling extremely guilty because her case was far worse than mine and I had spent such a long time just wallowing in self-pity and being angry at God. But honestly, her comments were a seed deposited in my spirit…if she was watching me, perhaps others going through a tough time were also. I had to press in to the Lord and allow Him to do His work through this thorn. I had to let Him make me who He wanted me to be…and so I submitted to what He was allowing.
My husband, children and I prayed constantly for my physical healing day after day after day. I remember in a church service on a Sunday night the guest speaker asked anyone who needed a physical healing to remain standing after worship, so I did. As he prayed for all those standing I cried out to God and begged Him, more than a physical healing, I wanted Him to heal my heart and make me WHOLE…I wanted forgiveness from the anger I had towards Him, I wanted a heart of gratitude for what I was going through and I wanted to be content with my physical appearance, the pain and the place God had me in that moment. I wanted wholeness and completeness from the only one who could give it, the one who created me. As the prayer ended and I sat down, I was overcome with emotion knowing that something had shifted within me that night. God had in fact healed my heart…He had made me whole.
After a little more than six months…
Next week…Thorn – The Gratitude